Life in retrospect

“Before you quit your job”

Dear Diary

It’s been a while. I’ve been struggling with this new form of disease, procrastination. Why do we feel like this? Why is there an overwhelming desire in me to self-sabotage? To cut ties with the possibility of things and to go back to what was once sure, the past. My comfort of employ and letting my boss make decisions for the future. To walk and constantly be looking back is not only a dangerous notion but, also rather impossible to continue. Failure in this distracted pursuit is a certainty.

So what am I to do Diary? I must CHANGE.

Change the way I think. Change the way I do things. Change. Since this has been such a struggle I must challenge myself toward change. My dream to start my own business is my responsibility alone and if it requires me to change for the better in order to be successful then I must oblige. No one else will do this for me. It’s been said that “the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour”. Does this mean one is helpless in continuing the vicious cycle of mistakes made in life? What if there is a desire to be different? To affect outcomes in a positive way than what has resulted before? Diary, I believe this cycle can not only be disrupted but averted if one is willing to change. If one were to “turn from” thinking that will with certainty end in a negative result because you’ve made that mistake in judgement before, the most logical conclusion is, therefore, to learn from mistakes and divert thinking toward something else…to change my thinking. We say change is difficult or that “people don’t change”. Why? Perhaps this is an error in judgement too, perhaps even typecasting. We’ve been built up to certain traits, habits and allowed ourselves to become predictable to the point of a character profile or type to others close to us. So the cycles of behaviour be it negative or positive has been used to define us. If one talks about ‘types’ and ‘profiles’ then is this not also a type of looking back constantly to find skeletons there and create ghosts of them who come after us and spook us into the same behavioural patterns we seem ‘destined’ to repeat. My point here Diary, is that if we focus on past behaviour long enough, failure long enough we will repeat it and we will set in motion a destiny for it.

But what of change? To ‘turn from’ something comfortable and venture into a type nothingness. A venture that has no guarantee. A seedling for which you are tasked with turning into an oak. So then I must learn about gardening and the basic principles of keeping a seedling alive. In entrepreneurship, if I am tasked with building successful businesses then I must be willing to learn something new to make that happen. To keep the dream alive.

Factors that keep us from moving forward:

  • Fear: of change, of failure, of judgement, of lack of support, of looking foolish
  • Expectation: what others presume for us to do
  • Liability: things that are owed to others e.g. Debts, home loans, school fees
  • Comfort: unwillingness to make necessary sacrifices for growth
  • Ignorance: about information, not testing sources, not seeking out ways to learn and understand for oneself

Factors that keep us moving forward:

  • Willingness: to learn, to try, to ask or question, to test and be tested, to change
  • Motivation: a desire to do more than what’s required
  • Caring for something other than yourself
  • Information and knowledge: to seek these constantly
  • Commitment: to leave only once it’s done or when you’re not required anymore
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself"  Leo Tolstoy

How true Diary. My barrier isn’t lack of start-up money, staff, business plans, motivation, partners but it is ME. I must change my focus in order for my business to be successful. I must be willing to do something different for a different result.

Until tomorrow, dear Diary.


“Before you quit your job” by Robert Kiyosaki (audiobook)

2 thoughts on “Life in retrospect”

    1. Wow, what beautiful words! You find me in a moment where I doubt myself once again, thinking is this resonating with someone or am I just speaking to myself out loud. Thank you for your kind words, I’m encouraged once again to keep encouraging others towards happiness and fulfillment in their work. Anchen

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